Welcome to the 2011 Frobiland Blog.
Happy New Year. 2011 is here and like many, my New Year's resolution has been made. Mine is simple; to see less of me and be a slimmer, faster, healthier version of myself. What's yours?The most common question asked of me these days is;'How are you?
It is not a loaded question, a question to trip me up, but one that usually demands only one answer 'I'm fine'. But at the moment I have three answers;
Answer Number 1
'Tired, but ecstatic
I'm tired, but ecstatic. For the last 7 weeks I have been setting a punishing schedule of 'burning the candle at both ends'. I have been sitting up into the small hours, getting to bed around 2am and then struggling to get up at 6am. Why?
To be honest it hasn't been a struggle. It has been a joyous, wonderful pleasure to watch in amazement as the England cricket team have humbled, humiliated and completely thrashed Australia, in Australia - for the first time in 24 years. Records have tumbled, superlatives have been exhausted, the English fans (the Barmy Army; a legendary force of fat, bald 30 / 40 something men, roasted pink in the scorching sun, sozzled with beer from 10:30am onwards every day, and singing 'til they are hoarse in support of the England team) in dreamland and disbelief and a nation, once meek and feeble in the face of the old enemy, now proud and dominant again. Marvellous.
The cricket has been the best, most sustained and exciting period of sport I have watched for years. The 2005 series in England was incredible, but this series was unsurpassed in how England played and how they 'took it to the Aussies' who, in the words of Dad's Army, 'didn't like it up 'em'. Australia's heads are hung in collective defeat, embarrassment and disappointment. I shouldn't gloat, but it doesn't get better than this. Actually, after the misery of the last 24 years, I should gloat, gloat until there is no more gloat left in me.
Answer Number 2
'COLD!'
I am cold. The whole country is cold. It has been cold for as long as I can remember...I am thinking hard to the last time I felt warm...er, no, sorry, I can't remember.
December was the coldest on record since records began. We had snow on the ground for 2 weeks. Not just a pathetic 2cm, but a whole foot and a half (45cm). Of course the country ground to a halt; roads, railways, airports all shut down - even the biggest shopping centre in the UK closed its door...armageddon for a month. And still we persist in the notion that we don't really need to do anything differently....oh, don't worry about fitting winter tyres on your car, you won't need them...never snows in Britain.We have very short memories in the UK. By the time spring arrives, the Arctic sub zero conditions will be pushed to the back of peoples' thoughts and the planning and preparation for next winter will be forgotten...until we are snowed in again in November (winter is getting earlier each year...we'll soon be putting the Ugg boots and ear muffs on in July).
Cycling has not been a good option for a few weeks. The bike was covered in a foot of snow and the roads were totally lethal skating rinks. There is nothing more certain in life than this - cycling on an icy road will end in a painful heap on the floor, usually after 2 metres of cycling.
Even when I have been able to get out on the bike, it has been so cold that you need to be dressed like Michelin Man or Mr. Blobby to be able feel any protection from the windchill. How on earth do people live in Greenland or Northern Siberia?
Answer Number 3'
'Hungry!'
5 months from now, I will be in final preparation and packing for the 'Le Tour de Trois Nation'. 650 kilometres of stunning scenery, energy sapping climbs, painful, aching bodies and litres of sweat. Cycling for a week from Worcester to Dublin and back. Mountains, mountains and more mountains. I can't wait, but my legs are less than enthusiastic about it. They'll come round to the idea.
5 months to get back into shape, tone up and as Steve Miller, our genial host for 'Fat Families' on Sky1 says...'Melt that lard'. Not that I am anyway near overweight, despite the Christmas and New Year festive season. I was restrained as to my chocolate intake this Christmas - knowing that what I put in I would have to burn off come January and that would mean extra miles on the bike or extra miles pounding the streets jogging.
That said, the Frobisher waistline could do with shedding a couple of inches and as my lovely wife Rini points out (regularly), the only leftover from the Christmas turkey is on my neck, and sagging towards my chest.
With each of my challenges, I embark on a strict diet that consists of the following restrictions;
A biscuit ban. Did you know that 1 chocolate covered digestive contains 3.9g of fat, which is 6% of the RDA (recommended daily allowance)? Me meither, but I just read it on the packet. Food for thought, literally.
I am allowed 2 biscuits on a Saturday and Sunday - boy do they taste good.
Chocolate limitations. Yes, my old friend Mr C.H.Ocolate and I are having a trial separation....we briefly reunite at the weekend for a salutary / solitary Mars Bar, before a tearful Sunday departure.
Deprivation. Self imposed this time. It is a bit like being at boarding school and leaving for at Exeat (mid term weekend) break, leaving the Draconian cloisters of the school dining room, stringy meat and lumpy egg, a clear broth tea, powdered milk (I think it was Daz Automatic) and chickory coffee [I jest not], going to my grandparents in Eastbourne for a feast of Viscounts, Clubs, Taxis, cake and superb dinners and the long fateful, depressing drive back to Slopsville, Dover.
Bob Marley once sang, "Dem Belly fully, but we hungry"...appalling grammar, but the lyric is a powerful indictment of the rich, greedy few at the expense of the poor, hungry and weak in society.
Although not as socially insightful, I have found recently 'My belly full, but I'm hungry' to be a recurring feeling. As part of the 'Get Fit to Ride' diet, I have actively sought to cut portion sizes down, resist second helpings and - most importantly - learn to ignore the hunger pangs and cravings for sugar in the evenings.
I remember someone saying it is not a bad thing to go to bed feeling a little hungry - better than stuffing yourself with sandwiches and biscuits 20 minutes before your head hits the pillow. Not only that, I learnt a blindingly obvious snippet of information last night.
Drinking water is good for you...but it also helps you lose weight by making you feel full and not hungry.
I don't recommend a 'water only' diet; that would be silly and something only found in 'The Self Help Guru Guide to Becoming Size Zero in 2 Weeks' (published by Claifornian Fad Publications, written by A.N. Idiot). However, I would suggest something not entirely new....3 reasonably sized meals, a healthy intake of fruit and veg (I rarely eat meat, so this is not a problem), cuttting out the snacks and biscuits and drinking 8 glasses of water a day, plenty of exercise and Bob's your thin uncle. Not rocket science, so why haven't I heeded this advice before?
One word - sugar. It pervades everything. Sugar is everywhere and it is addictive. Like most English people, I have a sweet tooth and a tooth dead from root canal treatment in 1996 caused by too much sugar in my diet.
To quote Lord Alan Sugar...'It is with regret, Sugar, ...you're fired'.
So that's it. Together with the cycle training, jogging and weights, Tony's recipe for a slimmer, muffin top free body. The only thing left to do to reduce weight is to shave off all body hair....could be at least 5kg saved. Where are my clippers?
Don't forget to sponsor me in my efforts to raise £4,000 for SCOPE, the UK's leading cerebral palsy charity. Thank you.
www.justgiving.com/tonyseverestchallenge
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