Sharing kindness and charity. Supporting Acorns Children's Hospice, Make A Wish UK &The Bike Project. Shining a light on Acorns Children's Hospice's amazing fundraisers and other charities I support.
Tuesday, 10 August 2021
There's More to Life Than Books You Know...But not much more. Supporting Acorns Through Poetry
Saturday, 7 August 2021
David Wall - Acorns Inspirations No.2
Acorns Inspirations - No.2
David Wall
Tireless and dedicated fundraiser for Acorns Children's Hospice.
Fundraiser, birdwatcher, walker
and maybe one day a wing-walker.
This is the second in a series of interviews, Acorns Inspirations. Meeting the people who devote time and energy to selflessly raise money on behalf of Acorns Children's Hospice. I want to shine a well deserved light on these unsung heroes who push themselves to support Acorns.
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David Wall One in a (5) million (steps) |
Tony (T) So Dave, how did you first hear about Acorns?
Dave (D) Through the football, as the Midlands teams have all supported Acorns haven’t they? And driving past the Acorns Hospice on the bus and hearing about the Black Country Hospice appeal. I thought, you know, how can it happen, that it could possibly close?
T: Why did you want to get involved and fundraise for Acorns?
D: I just wanted to do something for Acorns…it’s for the children isn’t it? I want to help them.
T: Can you mention some of the fundraising events that you’ve done and how you came up with the ideas?
D: Well, I was thinking of something I could do, you know. I’m not a runner or a cyclist, I walk a lot, so I just thought, walking. It snowballed from there, doing lots of steps to work and back. I thought of ideas to rejuvenate it (the fundraising) every month. To keep the interest up. Initially people will support you, but you need a reason to keep going, to remind them. So I can mention the event on the day or the night before.
T: And you did a couple of cycling challenges, but with a difference?
D: Yes, a 12 hour static (exercise) bike ride and a 24 hour static bike ride. It was my wife Sharon’s idea! The first one brought in just over £1,000. I was gobsmacked, I really was.
T: So all told, how much do you think you have raised?
D: It’s around £,4,500 so far.
T: That’s amazing
D: If I get to my target this year, it should be £6,000 That’s just from walking….people can do it if they want to do it, you know?
T: And what’s the most interesting or satisfying part of fundraising? Is it coming up with the challenges, the planning, the fundraising or that feeling at the end when you finish, you know a job well done?
D: It’s nice to get your task under your belt – done. But it’s bringing the money in, that’s what you want. You know I get more enjoyment in making money for Acorns than I do for myself. It’s great when you get that ‘ping’ when someone donates.
T: Is there anything difficult or frustrating that you find about fundraising? Or does it still inspire you and motivate you?
D: The only thing is, I wish I could do more. I mean that, I really do.
T: You’ve got some more challenges coming up. What’s next for you?
D: I’ve got the Mudnificent 7 on Saturday (A 7 kilometre muddy obstacle course), I’m going to attempt 100,000 steps again – that's a 50 mile walk – or at least beat my personal best, 88,000 steps. And then I’ve got the Virtual London marathon in October.
T: If you could do anything, from climbing Everest, Kilimanjaro, wing-walking, skydiving, marathons, what’s for you?
D: I fancy wing-walking or sky diving; I might do both of them!
T: You could wing-walk, then jump off it….! So who inspires you, motivates you, encourages you when things get tough?
D: The children obviously, people like yourself, the other fundraisers, and the people who support you as well. It’s nice to know people are supporting you.
T: What’s your message to people who haven’t fundraised but are maybe thinking of it?
D: Just go for it, whether it’s for Acorns or anyone, just go for it. I get a lot of satisfaction from doing it.
T: Who would you like to thank
D: I’d like to
thank my wife, Sharon. She always supports me, comes up with the ideas. I’d
like to thank people like yourself, the supporters, my colleagues at Walsall
National Express Depot – they’ve been brilliant, the community in Coseley.
Acorns – the team at Acorns has been fantastic, they’re always there, they help
you. Craig Punfield from ITV Central – he’s been great. And Tina and Darren
Smart too for their support. They generously donated a gift of installing blinds as a raffle prize. I’d also like to say thanks to my friend Derek
Hall, he does a lot for charity too and is a fellow bus driver. I have been really inspired by Derek and what he does for charity. And anybody else
who has sponsored me.
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Baggeridge Country Park before the rain.... Find out more about the work Acorns Children's Hospice does supporting life limited children and their families across the West Midlands in their 3 hospices in Walsall, Selly Oak and Worcester |
Thursday, 24 June 2021
Acorns Inspirations - Number 1 - BenoƮt Deakin-Woods
Acorns Inspirations
BenoƮt Deakin-Woods
Age:10
Home town: Worcester, UK
BenoƮt Deakin-Woods Runner, fundraiser and a true Acorns Inspiration |
In the first of my Acorns Inspirations interviews, I was delighted to meet a truly remarkable and inspiring young man. BenoƮt Deakin-Woods is just like any other 10 year old boy. He loves football, is an avid Wolverhampton Wanderers fan ('The first football word I ever heard - my Dad grew up there'), loves to play football too (a creative goal scorer and provider of many assists), but also happy exercising his thumbs on video games.
(B) Well it’s just... you know when you drive past it and my Mum and Dad would say oh look there’s Acorns, you know you just kind of saw it
(B) Yes
(T) Can you tell me a little bit about the fundraising event you did and how you came up with the ideas and do you know how much money you’ve raised so far?
(B) Well, my Dad inspired me because he did a run for Bone Cancer Research Trust and also I've got a friend called Manny and he does loads of things for charity and I kind of thought I should do something…I thought I’ll do a run…because on my Dad’s last runs I accompanied him on some of them. I decided if I fundraised for Acorns I would do a run and try and get to 40 miles in March
(B) The last I heard I’d raised about £1,000 (Ed. Actually currently at £1,205) +
£160 gift aid)
(T) What was the most interesting or satisfying part of the fundraising and the challenge? What did you enjoy most?
(B) Er, I love the running part but I also loved when I finished
it – I loved to think about the looks on the children’s faces, when they
realised they’ll get something and I thought that would be a really brilliant
thing
(T) Was there anything difficult or frustrating you found about it?
(B) Well. Of course you get really tired, but I thought why should I feel frustrated or angry when all of this hard work and determination is going towards children with disabilities being really happy.
(T) Did you run every day in March or every other day?
(B) I’d have a break day. It was kind of 3 days a week, 4 days a
week
(T) And how long did you run for, either miles or time?
(B) At first I just started off running 1 mile, but it got higher and higher and gradually I got my highest mileage, which was I think was 6.5 miles
(T) Thinking about the challenge what did you enjoy most - was it planning the challenge, raising the money, doing the challenge or that feeling after, when you can relax, it’s a job well done?
(B) I think..the running…because when I was doing it I could
think about what I was doing and how it would help people.
(B) To be honest, I’d quite like to skydive.
(T) Who inspires, motivates and encourages you to keep going and who makes a difference to you when things get a bit tough?
(T) And were there times when during the longer runs you thought, 'oh this is quite hard'…you know, maybe you were quite tired after a day at school or the weather wasn’t so good?
(B) Always! There’s always that point when you are trying to challenge yourself and you feel like, why do I do this…but when you end it, you suddenly realise why.
(T) What’s your message to other people who would like to get
involved in fundraising but haven’t done so, for any number of reasons?
(B) Er, I think, find what suits them best…what kind of sport they prefer…it could be running swimming cycling stuff like that and er
(B) But er, once they’ve done that, just persevere, keep going and
try to find your comfort in doing the challenge
(T) Do what you know, what you enjoy
(T) BenoĆ®t you are making and have made a huge difference to so many children and their families, you are an inspiration to everybody, so we would like on behalf of Acorns to thank you for all that you’ve done, but who would you like to say thank you to?
(B) I would like to say thank you to all of the Acorns workers,
because they are the ones that keep these children, er you know comforted and
they help them and make friends with them throughout their time, they have done
a lot of things that have helped other children and I think they deserve the
credit most.
- Hobbies and Interests – Playing football (up front), video games
- Which football team do you support? - Wolverhampton Wanderers, I've been to Molineux many times
- Food / Dish – Pizza Pasta / Salted caramel ice cream
- Music – I like rock music – Dire Straits, I don’t really listen to the ones that are the latest kind of bands , I usually listen to the ones that aren’t bands anymore like Michael Jackson or Elvis Presley
- Holiday or somewhere you’d like to go – I’d like to visit my cousins in Korea, my uncle is in the US Airforce.
- Favourite place in the UK? No answer...but we probably settled on Molineux
- Who would you most like to meet for a cup of tea and a slice of cake? Cristiano Ronaldo
- Favourite book, film, TV programme– James Bond, Goldeneye
- Running, walking, cycling, swimming or something else? – cycling, I like it energetic, like to be on wheels!
- What do your friends think about your fundraising? They were happy, I showed them the videos and Connor Coady and they clapped me on my back.
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I wish BenoƮt every success for his next challenge. And if we had more people like BenoƮt in the world, it would be a much kinder, better place. A selfless, generous, kind and very enthusiastic young man who is making an incredible difference to the quality of life for life limited children and their families across the West Midlands, who are reliant on Acorns Children's Hospice.
Tony Frobisher
Parent Carer Champion
Acorns Children's Hospice
Acorns Inspirations - The New Blog
In August 2020, I was delighted to be asked to become a Parent Carer Champion for Acorns Children's Hospice, a role I have thoroughly enjoyed, supporting and encouraging fundraisers for a wonderful charity and helping promote the incredible work Acorns does for life limited children and their families across the West Midlands.
Our Story
I am an Acorns father. My daughter Milla went to Acorns for the Three Counties in Worcester where we live. Milla was born together with her triplet sister Jewel and Louisa, in April 2006. They were born 16 weeks prematurely. Sadly, Jewel did not live long and passed away after 17 days. Milla and Louisa spent 6 months in hospital, both had operations on their eyes and Louisa had a hole in her heart repaired. They had numerous setbacks, but eventually came home, on oxygen, in October 2006.
After a year or so Milla was diagnosed with severe cerebral palsy. She was unable to walk or talk and required feeding through a gastrostomy or stomach tube. However, she smiled constantly and her laugh filled the room. Her twin sister Louisa is blind in one eye, partially sighted in her other and has global developmental delay and attends a wonderful Special Needs Secondary School, Regency high School in Worcester.
Acorns gave my wife and I the chance for a break from the constant 24 hour a day care for Milla and Louisa. Broken sleep, illness, feeding regimes and medicines - all took its toll on our physical, mental and emotional well being. Milla and Louisa initially spent respite stays at the Three Counties Hospice, and eventually only Milla required respire.
To see the happiness of all the children in Acorns, to see Milla smiling and relaxed, being so well cared for by the amazing dedicated staff and volunteers was very important to us. To know she was safe, but happy, cared for and being treated not as a patient, but as a child - having fun, in the sensory room, music room, hydrotherapy pool etc.
In 2016, while we were visiting my wife's family in Indonesia, Milla became very ill very quickly. Within three days she passed away from a sepsis infection. Losing Milla was so unexpected and sudden, our world crashed around us. Returning with Louisa and an empty wheelchair to our home in the UK was extremely traumatic. Milla was buried alongside her Indonesia grandfather.
But Acorns were one of the first to reach out to us. They offered us bereavement counselling and sibling counselling for Louisa. They were there to support us every step of the way. They engraved a beautiful memory stone for Milla which is in the memorial garden at the hospice. We attended a dignified and touching memorial day to remember the children who had sadly passed away during that year. Acorns went above and beyond. Even small things like offering my wife a massage at the hospice made our loss, our grief more bearable. To know there were and still are people that care, even though Milla was no longer with us.
Even before we lost Milla, I had been fundraising for various charities that supported Milla and us. For Acorns, we ran 1 kilometre during the Acorns Triple Run in 2014, pushing Milla around the course in her wheelchair. She loved the event, as did Louisa and we raised over £1,000. I then took part in long distance cycle challenges (Worcester-Bath-Worcester, 207 miles in 2 days), as well as walking 10,000 steps a day in July 2020 and March 2021. In April 2020 I sang and played guitar live on the internet for 12 hours. Louisa has done two events and raised over £3,000 by running 2 miles around Worcester Racecourse (she was unable to walk until she was more than 3 years old and her sight issues cause her balance and confidence problems). She then climbed to the top of Worcestershire Beacon, the highest point of the Malvern Hills. A total of 4 miles walking, the furthest she had ever walked. Together we have raised over £7,000 for Acorns.
Milla
Milla's Memorial Stone,
Acorns for the Three Counties, Worcester
Louisa during her 2 fundraising challenges
Acorns Inspirations
Inspiration is an often used and sometimes overused word. What is inspiration? For me, it is leading by doing. Providing an example for others to follow. Creating the enthusiasm in others to be better people themselves. Whether that is by challenging themselves, overcoming adversity or helping others less fortunate than themselves.
I want to shine a light on the incredible fundraisers who do so much to support Acorns Children's Hospice. These are the true inspirations. people who willingly take on fundraising challenges, from running marathons, cycling vast distances, walking hundreds and hundreds of miles, organising bake and cake sales, coffee mornings, jumping out of planes, walking over hot coals, and any number of wonderful and sometimes very bizarre challenges.
Over the coming months I will be meeting some of these wonderful , unsung heroes, without whom, Acorns would not be able to continue to provide the service they do to life limited children and their families across the West Midlands.
I'll be joining these fundraisers for walks, jogs and cycles ride, sampling their cakes, seeing their fundraising for myself and then sitting down over a cup of tea and a slice of cake for an interview. An interview which I hope will give you an insight as to the reasons why these selfless people give up their time to fundraise for Acorns.
Head to the next post for the first of my Acorns Inspirations interviews. A truly remarkable young man who is an example to us all, no matter how young or old.
Please comment and share andif you would like to get in touch, you can email me at
frobicycles@gmail.com
Best wishes,
Tony Frobisher
Parent Carer Champion
Acorns Children's Hospice
Worcester, UK, June 2021
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A walk and a smile along the canal |
Wednesday, 15 June 2016
Sleepless. A blog from an exhausted father
As it has been at 2am 3am...
Awake. Tired but unable to sleep. Shattered but unable to rest. Another night with little if any sleep.
Insomnia? No. Far from it.
Worry? Yes, but not that which would keep you awake all night.
Disability.
My daughter Milla. Pulling another all nighter.
Since being born 16 weeks premature and subsequently developing severe cerebral palsy, Milla has seldom slept anywhere near a 'normal' nightly routine.
Her condition causes sporadic sleep patterns and a lack of regulation of the sleep hormone melatonin. She may sleep at 8pm...but this sleep is induced by her final feed of the day. A complete nutritional supply of formula milk delivered by a pump and tube directly into her stomach. Milla can't chew or swallow without the serious risk of aspirating into her lungs.
Asleep at 8. Sounds great. But it's sadly not. Her sleep is conducted in her home wheelchair or on our laps. Take her to bed and feed her there people suggest. We can't. Milla has gastric reflux; a condition where the stomach contents are returned up the oesophagus and results in gagging or vomiting. You can not feed her lying down.
So you sit night after night holding her while she ingests her feed and goes to sleep. Then the spasms kick in. She kicks hard, rhythmically against your shins. Her head jerks suddenly. Her back arches in a banana shape as the cerebral palsy painfully contracts muscles. Electrical messages from her brain arrive in a confused state in her muscles.
But eventually this passes and she settles.
It's now 11...11:30...12am
3 maybe 4 hours of sleep. You are yourself feeling exhausted and in need of rest. The cumulative effect of night after night of disturbed poor quality sleep taking its toll.
Transferring Milla to her bed in her room is risky. On a good night you'll manage the transfer without disturbing her. She stays asleep and you can get your head down. Until maybe 5 when she will wake..sometimes earlier. Sometimes 6...which is rare but welcome. You manage 6 hours sleep which feels like a lie in, a luxury. Forget that the ideal is 8 hours....
On other nights the movement triggers Milla to wake. And that's it. 1am 2am 3am 4am....Milla is awake.
Leave her then....she'll settle.
You can't. She cries. Leave her like with other children.....no. She bucks and kicks, spasms and contorts herself and becomes so distressed she can vomit in her bed.
Ah...the times my wife and I have had to strip sheets at 2am covered in milky vomit. Had to clean Milla up. Even bath her on occasion in the middle of the night.
Other nights the only way to settle her is to move her to our bed. She is no longer a small toddler. Milla is 10. She os getting bigger. She will kick and wriggle and to sleep 3 in the bed is impractical and uncomfortable. There isn't room. And I can't sleep while Milla's cerebral palsy results in her punching, kicking and scratching me. I have a scar on my forehead from making the mistake of falling asleep but letting go of Milla's hand. Which jerked violently in a spasm and gauged a Harry Potter type wound in my skin.
So it's off to the sofa with a sleeping bag for me while my wife stays with Milla. I need to try to sleep in order to be up at 6ish for the school routine...meaning often my wife is up all night and only gets to sleep around 5am too.
5:16 am
Milla has now gone to sleep. After a night of fighting sleep, drifting off for a minute or two then waking and just not settling, sleep has come.
But what to do. I need to get her ready for school around 6:30am. A full dose of medicines, asthma inhalers, milk feed...getting her changed...it takes time. It seems cruel to wake her. But send her to school and we can get a little rest. Leave her to sleep...or wake her. She will go to sleep in her class and catch up there. What would you do?
And what of the effect on us. 10 years of broken sleep. Disturbed nights. Exhaustion.
It's become our 'normal'. You get used to it. It doesn't get easier, but you learn to manage your life around constant sleep deprivation. You cope because you have to. You do what you have to because no one else will. You are the parents. It is your responsibility.
Work? Work was an escape. A break. Work was the rock...the solid ground I needed. The foundation for everything. A way to socialise and do something productive and useful. To feel valued and included in society.
But work became more and more difficult. I was a teacher of English. I started out when my children were born on a full time contract. I managed, I don't know how, to teach full time and care for Milla and her sister Louisa for 2 years. Then I went part time. I coped. I worked hard and maintained my professionalism in the class. I enjoyed my work, my colleagues, my school, the students.
But work began to suffer as I got more and more tired. I was heading for burnout. Exhausted, I still managed to teach. The professional head went on. But the cracks were appearing.
So redundancy in February this year was a mixed blessing. Sad to leave colleagues and a job I enjoyed and a school I had been at for 13 years. But free of that burden of responsibility to the job. Free to focus on caring for Milla and Louisa. To try to recover my energy and health.
To an extent I have done this. Yet the constant sleep issues Milla has impacts us all constantly.
Irritable, grumpy, moody, lethargic, sluggish, clumsy, forgetful....that's me. That's tiredness.
So at 5:35am I am now going to get up. If I fall asleep now I won't be up to get Louisa ready for school. 2 hours sleep tonight.
Some people party hard and rise early and go off to work bleary eyed. Burning the candle at both ends by choice.
We have no choice. The candles burns very short. No social life. Just a life of caring, coping, managing and trying to do the best we can under very difficult circumstances.
I would say good night.....but it is now morning. Another night and sleep has passed us by. A new day has begun and I for one can not sleep and miss it.